Ring in some holiday insanity with RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness

Ah, Christmas. That magical time of year when Santa travels all over the universe by means of the fifth dimension, (which his close friend Merlin invented in a floating space castle), delivering toys that were made by a skunk in a factory overseen by a wolf in a village whose head of security, Puss in Boots, occasionally has to fend off giant ogres.

A story so familiar and comforting, it’s like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket. By which we mean it’s so insane and twisted, it makes the Ice Cream Bunny look like Tiny Tim Cratchit.

Christmas with RiffTrax: Santa’s Village of Madness is three shorts from the mad mind of K. Gordon Murray, who brought you the MST3K episode Santa Claus. Featuring cheap mascot costumes, terrifying music, an utter lack of coherence and a Santa who appears to have been dead for most of the shoot, they are some of the most astounding things we have ever laid eyes on, and will quickly become a new yuletide tradition, provided your eggnog is adequately spiked.

Mike, Kevin and Bill will be your hosts throughout your journey, introducing each short with their best brave faces as they stare into the abyss of Christmas Skunks and magic flowers that subvert the space/time continuum!

Order here

Rifftrax- Shorts to Astonish!

See! two young boys descend into madness at their local library!

Shriek! as you encounter the menace of Fad Diets!

Learn! the three magic words to use when selecting pork!

Wonder! why anyone would possibly need to make a short film about that!

RiffTrax: Shorts to Astonish! contains nine of our most thrilling, remedial, hilarious shorts! From the existential crisis of Cops: Who Needs Them? to the powerful fire-related questions raised by What if We Had a Fire?, it’s a super collection of laughs that you’ll want to add to your collection!

Includes bonus shorts from our regular RiffTrax Presents contributors Cole Stratton and Janet Varney!

Click here to order and watch a clip

Also available, The Guy From Harlem

Visit beautifully demented Frankenstein Island with the RiffTrax crew

Check out the latest RiffTrax preview of Frankenstein Island

How can one describe a film as bad as Frankenstein Island? Female savages who look more like desperate swimwear models, ridiculous zombies and other poorly thought out creatures round out a really really bad trip into b-movie-ville. When John Carradine’s floating head (lifted from an entirely different movie) arrive, it just seems to make sense.

Think Danger Island from the old Banana Splits shows only not as thought-provoking or visually stunning.

Our newest VOD, Frankenstein Island is a potpourri of insanity!

When four hot air balloonists crash land on remote Frankenstein Island, one thing is certain: they have a dog named Melvin!

That’s about all we were able to figure out regarding the plot of Frankenstein Island. The rest is a glorious potpourri of insanity, including but not just limited to: jungle babes in leopard skin bikinis, a bedridden 200 year old man, zombie slaves, Kung-Fu, a brain in a jar, a confused John Carradine, a guy who looks like the protagonist of the fictional Twitter account DadBoner and a scene where a shirtless man injects a mannequin with a hypodermic needle. All things said, it’s a little less strange than The Room.

How did these men get here? What is the strange power that runs the entire island? There’s only 15 minutes left in the movie, is Frankenstein ever actually going to show up? Questions like these aren’t important on Frankenstein Island. How dare you ask them. Here, the bikini chicks are dancing with a snake now. Is that better? I thought so.

Mike, Kevin and Bill hop into a hot air balloon with Melvin (a pastrami sandwich), and head off into the wild blue yonder to riff Frankenstein Island!

Click here to purchase

Rifftrax: Twilight Eclipse

Every now and then a sequel comes along that is arguably superior to the original film. The Godfather II. The Empire Strikes Back. 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. But the makers ofThe Twilight Saga: Eclipse cleverly avoided such comparisons by just making the exact same movie a third time. You want a slack-jawed girl who can’t choose between some squinty, mopey fellows? We got it! You want a red-headed vampire lady running around causing some sort of unspecified trouble? We got it! You want a consistent mythology, or a story that builds tension and develops in any way over the course of three films? We got…uh…hey look, werewolf nipples! All our favorites are back: Moustache Dad, Harpo, the Volvo. And really, why should anything change? If…

 

Sample

Available for purchase here: http://www.rifftrax.com/

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/hqwu

RiffTrax covers Clash of the Titans

RELEASE THE RIFFTRAX!! Yes, all too often a movie is reduced to a silly one-liner, a ridiculous catchphrase. This is a sad and unfair practice, demeaning to films with creative integrity and purpose. Fortunately, Clash of the Titans has neither! Upon viewing it, Sean Connery went out of his way to say “You are NOT the man now, dog!” When invited to a screening, Harrison Ford frantically searched for an excuse, finally issuing a panicked “I ALREADY WORK AROUND THE CLOCK!” When a friend asked Admiral Ackbar to come along and see Inception again, Ackbar suspected he was being tricked into watching this movie instead and said…well, you know what he said.

Our old Avatar friend Sam Worthington is along for the ride, maintaining his policy of only acting in front of green screens. Also, his policy of not actually acting. Also, his policy of letting his Australian accent slip through frequently, regardless of the role. Also, his policy of being a big charmless slack-jawed meathead. Also, his policy of general turdiness. Anyway, we’re big Sam Worthington fans around here.

Mike, Kevin, and Bill can’t help but think this movie would have been improved by a star from L.A. Law and a goofy mechanical owl.

Here’s a sample:

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/dmo3

 

Friday 9/18/09 Links

Grant Morrison Documentary

http://www.grantmorrisonmovie.com/

I’ve actually had the good fortune to meet Grant Morrison in person (ironically along with filmmaker and comic book creator Patrick Meaney). Mr. Morrison is one of the most gifted and polite comic book writers that I have spoken with and he also has one of the most unique approaches to the comic book medium since Jack Kirby. The documentary that Patrick Meaney has filmed explores the writer through his groundbreaking work on the Invisibles.

The film features extensive interviews with Morrison himself, as he recounts his own life story: his early days, growing up in Scotland; the start of his comics career; the crazy years of the ’90s, as his life and his comics became enmeshed; and his more recent attempts to turn personal troubles and social darkness into compelling comics. The film also gives insight into his creative process, including a look into his vaunted idea notebooks.

Complimenting Morrison’s own words are interviews with many of his most important collaborators, including Dan DiDio, Frazer Irving, Phil Jimenez, Geoff Johns, Cameron Stewart, Jill Thompson, Mark Waid, and others. The film is scheduled for completion in mid-2010.

This project has been covered considerably in the media, including Publisher’s Weekly, Wizard,Arthur Magazine, CBR’s Robot 6, Comicopia, Major Spoilers, Sequential Minded, Goma de Mascar,Daily Comic Book Covers, Bear Alley, Comic Book Jesus, Comics Alliance, Cuindando Pop,Omelete, Onerdescritor, and X-Ray Spex.

The documentary is currently available for pre-order from SequArt.

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Another friend and comic book co-creator also active in the multimedia world is Michael LaRiccia (who provided the excellent story ‘The Last of the Spitting Baboons for Zebra). He has many projects on the shelves right now including a story focusing on the vintage videogame Joust in the third volume of the videogame-themed anthology Life Meter.

Life Meter Comics

http://lifemetercomics.com/

Life Meter Comics, the anthology of video-game inspired comics returns, bigger and better than ever!

Life Meter 3 will be the first FULL-COLOR volume, featuring both blast processing and Mode-7! Sporting a dynamic cover by Ben Hatke (Flight, Zita the Space Girl), this print collection will be 120-pages and include original stories by Neil Babra (Flight, Hamlet), Jacob Chabot (Mighty Skullboy Army), Monica Gallagher (Gods & Undergrads), K.C. Green (Gunshow), Faith Erin Hicks (Zombies Calling), Matthew Loux (Salt Water Taffy), Mike Maihack (Cow and Buffalo), Jonathan Rivera (Heartbreak), and tons more! Profits will be donated to Childsplay.org

Debuting at the Small Press Expo will be a limited 1st edition of Life Meter 3! There will be exactly 40 copies, each signed and numbed with an exclusive print by Zack Giallongo!

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Doctor Who Top 10: fans vote for all-time best episode

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/doctor-who/6199603/Doctor-Who-Top-10-fans-vote-for-all-time-best-episode.html

Hilariously #2 is a ‘Doctor-less’ story… ah, fandom. You tickle me.

Top Ten Episodes of Doctor Who
1. THE CAVES OF ANDROZANI (1984) starring PETER DAVISON
2. BLINK (2007) starring DAVID TENNANT
3. GENESIS OF THE DALEKS (1975) starring TOM BAKER
4. THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG (1977) starring TOM BAKER
5. THE EMPTY CHILD (2005) starring CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON
6. HUMAN NATURE (2007) starring DAVID TENNANT
7. PYRAMIDS OF MARS (1975) starring TOM BAKER
8. CITY OF DEATH (1979) starring TOM BAKER
9. THE ROBOTS OF DEATH (1977) starring TOM BAKER
10. BAD WOLF (2005) starring CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON

There are three issues I’d raise with this list:

1. Surely this list needs a face-lift as the same stories are featured nearly every year. Genesis of the Daleks, Caves of Androzani and Talons of Weng Chiang are worthy of praise but… come on!

2. No Hartnell, Troughton ore Pertwee stories? Not one?

3. It also makes no sense to vote for part one of a two part story in the modern program, though I agree that ‘Family of Blood’ and ‘The Doctor Dances’ are both lousy endings to otherwise good stories. Surely that invalidates the nomination, right?

What do you think missed the list?

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Joe Quesada gives a rare and candid guided tour of the Marvel offices

http://www.slatev.com/index.html?bcpid=988327350&bclid=29897817001&bctid=40327176001

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Raiders of the Lost Ark… 1951 Style

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Spider-Man 4 release date, return of Kirsten Dunst and IMAX format all confirmed in one day

Kirsten Dunst Is Back For Spider-Man 4!

http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/LetsCutTheBS/news/?a=10109

Spider-Man 4 Gets Release Date

http://www.hollyscoop.com/movies/tobey-maguire/spider-man-4-gets-release-date_1699.aspx

Spidey is officially coming back to the big screen! Spider Man 4 has finally gotten a release date. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the fourth installment will arrive on Thursday, May 5th, 2011.

SPIDER-MAN 4 Spins a Web of a Enormous Size in IMAX in May 2011

http://www.collider.com/2009/09/15/spider-man-4-spins-a-web-of-enormous-size-imax-in-may-2011/

And what’s this about Spider-Man and Thor fighting at the box office?

Marvel movie competition: Spider-Man’s release date pits it against the Thor movie!

http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/BrentSprecher/news/?a=10138

Spidey fights Thor?
http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=28588

While the fans obviously benefit from a summer filled with superhero smackdowns, keep in mind that Spidey and Thor may live in the same comic universe but have different movie homes (Sony for Spidey, Marvel/Paramount for Thor). In the past Spidey climbed to as much as $400 million thanks to a lack of serious comic character competition. Will Mjolnir manage to damage Peter Parker’s pockets?

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Dark Reign: The List – X-Men Preview

http://marvel.com/news/comicstories.9550.SNEAK_PEEK~colon~_Dark_Reign~colon~_The_List_-_X-Men

DARK REIGN: THE LIST – X-MEN
WRITER: Matt Fraction
PENCILS: Alan Davis
INKS: Mark Farmer
COLORED BY: Nathan Fairbairn
LETTERED BY: VC – Joe Caramagna
THE STORY:
The fallout of UTOPIA begins here. What else could Norman Osborn possibly do to the X-Men? Plus, Matt Fraction’s first Marvel story featuring the X-Men! 48 PGS./One-Shot/Rated T …$3.99

It has been interesting and odd seeing Namor become part of the X-Men family. As ‘the first mutant’ of Marvel Comics (stated as a marketing ploy on 1990 for John Byrne’s Namor series) the potential has always existed to fold the Sub-Mariner into the X-books but to finally see it as a reality is bizarre.

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Jonah Hex writer Jimmy Palmiotti on Marvel/Disney and DC Entertainment

http://blog.newsarama.com/2009/09/17/listen-to-jimmy-palmiotti-19/

MARVEL/DISNEY: I think this is a good thing. Simply because Joe Quesada and I were working at Marvel when they were in Chapter 11 and saw a lot of people lose their jobs and worry about things that were not the content of the books. And with us doing the Marvel Knights line at the time, it was added pressure for everyone. I look at this deal and I see a fantastic future for the characters and the creators to expand and grow with the company. Doesn’t Disney own a few studios and TV channels? Well… I am guessing they now have over 5,000 characters to pick from and develop some cool shows and games and so on and they will need guys like me to help out at some point… at the very least, they will make more work for everyone.

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So much for the cabal of supervillains…

The Dark Avengers Meet Their Doom In December

http://www.marvel.com/news/comicstories.9522.The_Dark_Avengers_Meet_Their_Doom

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Director Jonathan Mostow Explains the Difference Between Surrogates and Terminator

http://blogs.amctv.com/scifi-scanner/2009/09/jonathan-mostow-interview.php

Awkwardly, I must admit that I only recently discovered this movie but already I am very excited about it. A unique blend of comic book style and sci-fi concept could produce a brilliant flick. Oh and it was filmed in a cluster of depressed mill towns of Massachussetts.

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‘Smallville’ exclusive: Julian Sands is (Young) Jor-El

http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2009/09/11/smallville-exclusive-julian-sands-is-young-jor-el/

Sources confirm to me exclusively that Smallville has cast Julian Sands (24, Warlock, a million other things) to play a young Jor-El. He’ll make his debut in the November episode “Kandor” when it’s revealed that he arrived with Zod and the other Kandorians.

It is so bizarre to see Julian Sands in anything commercially viable but I’m happy to see the strange actor dip his toes into the world of comic book entertainment. What’s next? Dr Stange? Dr Doom in the suspected Fantastic Four revamp?

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tweet from MST3K and rifftrax’s Mike Nelson:
michaeljnelsonRecording Dragon Wars today. And it does indeed feel like going off to war.

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Teens discover suspected Warwolf, promptly beat it to death

http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/2009/09/teens-discover-suspected-warwolf-promptly-beat-it-to-death/

A group of excitable, and violent, teens in Panama may have saved our planet from other-dimensional invasion.

According to media reports, the kids were playing in a town north of Panama City when they saw a grotesque, hairless creature emerge from a cave. So what did they do?

Why, they beat it to death, of course.