‘Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang’ by Chris Chibnall
When I heard how much more Chibnall was going to be involved in Torchwood with its second series, I was quite pleased. While Cyberwoman was quite dire and Countrycide only so-so, the first series finale was the only good Doctor Who-related TV that I saw when it aired on Christmas day.
How wrong I was to be pleased.
With the invention of this Nu-Doctor Who spin-off, some problems have been evident. Most notably is the behavior of Captain Jack. Let me begin by saying that Captain Jack has a lot in common with the robot dog K-9.
When K-9 first appeared, you either loved him or hated him. A wee robot dog that’s a walking computer.
Cute, eh?Whether you initially liked the idea or not, as the character became a mainstay of the program, you probably grew to despise him as much as incoming producer John Nathan Turner did. It was JNT who axed the robot dog forever, making many a fan happy and newscasters ask incoming Doctor Peter Davison if K-9 was coming back to the program (his former role of Tristam was a vet after all!).
But I’m drifting from Torchwood. Probably because classic Doctor Who is so much more interesting.
In his first appearance in the seminal series of Nu-Doctor Who, I quite liked Captain Jack. I found him inventive and well-acted by Jonathan Barrowman. As the series went on and the character became a mainstay of the series, he became less the shifty Captain Jack and more the silly Captain Cheap Laugh. In Torchwood, the character became more of a comic book character, devoid of much humor and an all around action man. I felt it was jarring and not consistent at all with his other two personas, but it worked well. This season, we have Captain Cheap Laugh again. So you see the K-9 parallel, right?
Apparently there was a decision made that the new series would be a complete and total send-up of the first. What with the fish-headed alien shocking an old lady, the ‘bloody Torchwood’ line after the super secret alien fighting Scooby Doo mobile squealed off in chase, the ‘Help me, Obi Wan!’ line… etc.
This… is a bad decision that is made that much worse when you this week’s guest villain, Captain John. Played in such a way that the late Jonathan Harris (Doctor Smith of Lost in Space fame) looks all butch, this character is possibly the most annoying thing to ever drop from a pen’s tip. Actor James Marsters does a decent enough job, it’s just the character that is less than a one note joke that never ends.
As soon as Captain John appeared on the screen, I called the next scene. A ‘fey-off’ was in the works against Captain Jack. But I had no idea that this would result in an actual stand-off ending in a prolonged make-out scene in front of digital flames… followed by fisticuffs to a Blur song I worked very hard to forget. The whole thing seemed like it was from an American program made five to ten years ago.
It was nice to see Burn Gorman as Owen again. I know many fans hate the character, but I find him to be the most interesting one of the gang and also the most useful. While Toshiko Jones is a walking talking Star Trek program (it was funny on Red Dwarf, it’s just sad when it’s played straight) is a waste of space and Gwen is back to her first season ‘oooh I love Jack’ despite all of the development she went through in season one, at least Owen is interesting. Also, can someone tell me when Ianto became the class clown?
Based on my enjoyment of the semi-sophisticated episodes and characters, I had mediocre hopes for the second season. It appears that I should have placed the ‘bar’ lower. Much lower.
The first season, while flawed and trashy, was consistently interesting to watch most of the time. Episodes such as Small Worlds, Combat and Out of Time as not only good Torchwood episodes, but decent science fiction as well (something the new Doctor Who has only achieved in a few stories). More importantly, the first season was about building the characters and the world that they live in. From this outing, I gather we are supposed to forget about that entirely and just laugh at every raised eyebrow, innuendo or Ianto joke.
What a waste.