Doctor Who – The Cold War

The Cold War

Story 7.08
Written by Mark Gatiss
Transmitted 13 April 2013

Intending to show Clara Las Vegas (apparently), the Doctor instead lands the TARDIS aboard a Russian submarine just as it is about to sink to the bottom of the ocean. Aboard is a strange find, a creature preserved in ice which Professor Grisenko is intent on investigating. However, the nuclear submarine is also in the midst of standard war-time drills. Adding to the tension, the creature in the ice breaks loose from a 5,000 year nap and is revealed to be an Ice Warrior from the planet Mars. Stuck aboard the craft as the crew struggles to retain control of their vessel, the Doctor must diffuse a hostile situation on several fronts.

Set in 1983, when the United States and Soviet Union were on the edge of mutual nuclear annihilation, The Cold War is . A lifelong Whovian, Mark Gatiss includes a healthy dose nostalgia into his scripts from his childhood as well as Doctor Who’s history. As such, The Cold War hearkens back to the Patrick Troughton era with a claustrophobic base-under-siege setting as well as a classic monster. The Ice Warriors are obscure today, but back in 1968, they were hot stuff. Massive, deadly and imposing, the Ice Warriors make a welcome return in this story which provides a much-needed lift in the season after the previous two duds. The added color of David Warner who hilariously is obsessed with 80′s era Britpop, makes this the most enjoyable story in a long time.

I am a big fan of his, but even I must admit that Gatiss has a spotty record of success with new Who. The Unquiet Dead was great fun, while Idiot’s Lantern, Victory of the Daleks and Night Terrors were letdowns for numerous reasons, mostly due to missed opportunities and ham-fisted tugs at the heart strings. The faceless victims of the Wire were superb, but the face off between father and son too forced, likewise the Daleks were defeated by an android remembering falling in love… and Night Terrors should have been a knock out horror-fest but in the end was an awkward tale about adoption. I’m not sure how or why the other scripts fell through, but I’m glad that in this case he found his footing at last. But I have yet to watch his second Series 7 episode, the Crimson Horror, so hold that thought.

The Cold War has superb lighting, impressive direction and the unique use of models for the first time in ages (making the submarine sequences much more impressive). When I have written about the Ice Warriors in the past I have pointed out that their return would be interesting given that they have been presented in various ways; as straight forward monsters, as cunning soldiers and as noble warriors. This story ingeniously combines all of these approaches, giving Whovians the most fleshed out version of the creatures to date.

Matt Smith is a real gem, isn’t he? Despite the material he is given, he seems to fire on all cylinders each week. Displaying gravity, humor and empathy in 45 minutes can easily make the Doctor appear manic (just look at David Tennant), but Smith pulls this off with ease. It may be that he is a genuine eccentric who is just as easily warm and entertaining as he is strange and other-worldly. It is nice to see new Doctors pitted against old menaces as it places the production crew in the position to pay homage to the past while building toward something new. Smith seems to be channeling the late great Patrick Troughton in appearing to be both wise beyond time and very human in his eccentricities and sympathy.

The Cold War is a nail-biter, a story that is steeped in drama and atmosphere, with just the right amount of surprises and comedic flair to make things interesting. I will admit that I was disappointed to see the Ice Warrior climb out of its armor, but applaud the director for only hinting at what it could look like rather than giving a full on CGi mess (though the floppy head reveal at the end killed the mood).

Clara continues to run on impish charm and cuteness but she is also very brave and determined to stare danger in the face with a similar attitude to the Doctor’s. As thsi review is very late in the season, it has been said that Clara is the ‘perfect’ companion, one that compliments the Doctor in many ways. This is a good approach, but hinges on the revelation of just who she is. She seems to take almost anything the Doctor shows her in stride without much fuss. So… why?

The Cold War gave Doctor Who an opportunity to do something it has not done in quite some time, tell a compelling story with an interesting monster, a great supporting cast and some damned sharp writing. The moment when David Warner starts to connect with Clara and pleads with her for information about the future is superb, made all the better when he asks if Ultravox stayed together.

With the insistence of modern Doctor Who to tell interconnected stories with breadcrumbs leading from week to week last year, it was as wise decision to move in another direction. Sadly, most of this season has relied on the mystery of Clara rather than telling an interesting adventure. This week broke that pattern and for the first time in ages I was reminded that this really is Doctor Who, a program that I enjoy watching.

Cold War had an Appreciation Index, or AI score, of 84.

The Appreciation Index or AI is a measure of how much the audience enjoyed the programme. The score, out of a hundred, is compiled by a specially selected panel of around 5,000 people who go online and rate and comment on programmes.

The score is identical to last week’s Doctor Who and scored higher than most of Saturday’s output. The highest scoring programmes of the day were Casulty with 88, Walking Through History with 85 and Dad’s Army with 89.. (via Doctor Who News)

Overnight ratings from Doctor WhoTV:

Cold War – 5.7 million (overnight) 7.37 million (final figure)
The Rings of Akhaten – 5.5 million (overnight) 7.45 million (final figure)
The Bells of Saint John – 6.18 million (overnight) 8.44 million (final figure)
The Snowmen – 7.6 million (overnight) 9.87 million (final figure)
The Angels Take Manhattan – 5.9 million (overnight) 7.82 million (final figure)
The Power of Three – 5.5 million (overnight) 7.67 million (final figure)
A Town Called Mercy – 6.6 million (overnight) 8.42 million (final figure)
Dinosaurs on a Spaceship – 5.5 million (overnight) 7.57 million (final figure)
Asylum of the Daleks – 6.4 million (overnight) 8.3 million (final figure)

Next time: Hide

Doctor Who and The Rings of Akhaten

The Rings of Akhaten

Image by Francesco Francavilla

“We never run.”

Story 7.07
Written byNeil Cross
Transmitted 6 April 2013

The Doctor is increasingly curious about Clara Oswin and creepily travels through her timeline watching how her parents met and raised young Clara into the precocious gal she is today. Not only was the opening sequence incredibly self indulgent (honestly, does anyone think that the story of their parents meeting is written in the stars??) but it was also so poorly told. Clara’s father-to-be stumbles through the streets of a British suburb while the Doctor peers over the top of an issue of Beano (apparently listening to the Specials on an iPod) while said father is assailed by a massive leaf and is almost hit by a car if not for the timely intervention of Clara’s mother-to-be. A man who is nearly killed by a seemingly deadly leaf deserves to die in my book.

(Special note- yes, I am behind on my reviews. This was not on purpose. As I no longer have cable, I have to rely on other methods to find the episodes and the BBC has apparently been cracking down on this. I appreciate the patience of readers who may have been waiting on my two cents’ worth)

The Doctor takes Clara to some cosmic event that is totally awesome at first and becomes very very dire in no time flat. The initial reveal of the TARDIS on an asteroid is impressive, if not for the fact that the Doctor is still a chap who likes to impress ladies with his neat tricks. Honestly, where has the gentleman traveler of space and time gone? Despite his lack of romantic interest, it seems like he’s just trying to wow her enough to get lucky.

Getting closer to the event, we are assailed with goofy aliens milling about on a set. It looked bad the last few times they did it, it looks worse now. Clara soon becomes wrapped up in some local intrigue over a missing girl Merry, gives her some pat advice involving her dead mother even though it is apparent that this girl is in some serious trouble and sets her on her way. It soon transpires that Merry is the latest in a long line of singers to lull a god called ‘Grandfather’ into perpetual sleep. But something goes horribly wrong and the Doctor tries to save the situation. But in the end it is the simple leaf kept in Clara’s book that saves the entire population, with its promises of what could have been.

Some time ago, Charlotte Church had a variety show and performed a brilliantly spot-on lampoon of Doctor Who. In it, even the Doctor was confused that they were just sitting on a bench watching Charlotte cry rather than fighting Daleks but she insisted that it was important. Likewise, we get Clara’s book of 100 places and her leaf connecting back to her parents which is somehow on the same level of a galactic mummy guarding a planet-sized monster kept complacent by lullabies. It just doesn’t work and is very lazy.

The Doctor’s use of the sonic screwdriver is downright comical as it somehow holds a ‘very heavy’ door up in the air, but relies on his ability to hold it up with his own strength. If it’s a sonic resonance, I can understand that.  The entire culture of Akhaten revolves around resonances (albeit through painful singing) but it should not also involve effort. Also, how can the sonic screwdriver stop the Vigil who I admit look very cool but are in the end useless? It’s almost as silly as the Doctor offering up ‘all his stories’ to the giant sun monster-thing which looks like it is killing him and pulling that magic fairy dust from his body but…. what? Did they take a break?

Why is the Doctor not dead? Is he only kinda dead? Did the monster give the energy/stories back when Clara walked on with her magic leaf? It makes no sense.

The concept of this story is so backwards and weird that it reminds me of Fear Her by Matthew Graham, the brilliant creator of Life on Mars. Fear Her was written (quickly) from the point of view of a child, something that Graham thought was relevant since Who is a children’s program. In this case, Neil Cross, the likewise celebrated screenwriter of Luther has some very wring ideas of how Doctor Who works. The set piece is contrived, the logic juvenile and the resolution ham-fisted. Adding a child guest star to singing and throwing in over the top acting is the surefire way to produce one of the worst stories since the program returned in 2005.

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… aren’t you glad I got to see this one?

I am almost halfway through Cold War and it is much better, by the way.

The Rings of Akhaten had an overnight audience of 5.5 million viewers, a share of 28.8% of the total TV audience.

Doctor Who was once more third for the day, although the gap between the series and the programmes at the top of the chart was slightly larger, perhaps reflecting the lighter evenings.

Top of the list was Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway with 7.3 million watching, while The Voice was second with 6.4 million viewers. (via Doctor Who News)

Overnight ratings from Doctor WhoTV:

The Bells of Saint John – 6.18 million (overnight) 8.44 million (final figure)
The Snowmen – 7.6 million (overnight) 9.87 million (final figure)
The Angels Take Manhattan – 5.9 million (overnight) 7.82 million (final figure)
The Power of Three – 5.5 million (overnight) 7.67 million (final figure)
A Town Called Mercy – 6.6 million (overnight) 8.42 million (final figure)
Dinosaurs on a Spaceship – 5.5 million (overnight) 7.57 million (final figure)
Asylum of the Daleks – 6.4 million (overnight) 8.3 million (final figure)

Next time: Cold War

Doctor Who and The Bells of Saint John

The Bells of Saint John

Image by Francesco Francavilla

“This whole world is swimming in Wi-Fi. We are living in a Wi-Fi soup. Suppose something got into it. Suppose there was something living in the Wi-Fi, harvesting human minds… human souls trapped like flies in the world wide web.”
Written by Steven Moffat
Story 7.07
Transmitted 30 March, 2013

Doctor Who is an incredibly popular TV series with a fan following that grows bigger every year. A series that was once the punchline to any put down joke, it now graces the covers of pop culture magazines not just in the UK but in the US as well. BBC America has taken a very active role this year in promoting Doctor Who, just in time for its fiftieth anniversary by showing weekly installments of past episodes from the early days and offering up the opinions of the cast and crew of the current iteration. The seventh season is the most anticipated in a long time as it strays from the path of the Amy Pond story and into uncharted territory with a grand cinematic celebration at the end.

I have been watching Doctor Who for far too many years to remember and I have been running this blog since 2007. There are some regular readers who are here reading the latest in a long line of reviews. There are also some of you who have stumbled upon my blog because you are a Doctor Who fan, full of excitement and joy for your favorite series. You will likely not be pleased with much of what I have to say.

I am not a fun squasher, so if you don’t want to read about your favorite program getting dissected and criticized, I highly recommend going to one of many other review sites. I love Doctor Who and continue to watch every episode I can because of I love it… but when I find fault with the series I can get a bit salty.

So… consider this a friendly warning.

And if you are still reading and disagree, feel free to voice your opinion but don’t expect a heated argument because I’m just not interested.

All good? Lovely.

Ever since it returned in 2005, the BBC Wales version of Doctor Who has been obsessed with a very specific period of the program, specifically the first story of the eighth series. When the Doctor became stranded on Earth, the focus changed drastically from fantastical to the factual. The sci-fi elements were grounded in the every day things around us and made horrific. The best example of this is in Terror of the Autons in which the Master teamed up with the Nestene Consciousness to take over the planet through the animation of anything made from plastic. This was mainly a rehash of the previous year’s opener ‘Spearhead From Space’ but much goofier. In Spearhead, animated mannikins stalked the streets and entered houses, destroying anything in their path. In Terror, one executive was eating alive by a bean bag chair, another throttled by a doll while the Doctor was nearly garroted by a telephone line. Likewise, the new series has attempted to take everyday things and make them into terrifying fantastic horrors, be it shadows, statues, cellular phones, GPS or even Wi-Fi.

I wager at least half of all new Doctor Who stories have something in common with Terror of the Autons except for one thing; Terror of the Autons was actually a clever story that, while being on the absurd side was still clever and innovative. It softened the Quatermass-influence of series seven and replaced with a more comic strip-style version of Doctor Who but it still worked. The BBC Wales version, in comparison, is much more topical and disposable. It is so antiquated that almost half of the run time featured characters staring at monitors, back at the viewer or closeups of fingers in keyboards. The pre-credit teaser was an explanation of the premise rather than just showing us in the actual story. These are lazy techniques that went out of style twenty years ago.

Even the War Machines, a story from 1966 that was about a computer intelligence taking over the world was more plausible than The Bells of Saint John, and it had access to a small portion of the information available to the current series regarding technology. But the War Machines was written with the input of Kit Pedler, the brilliant scientist whose interest in real world cybernetics led to the creation of the Cybermen (fictionally… he didn’t make actual Cybermen).

The Bells of Saint John is written with all the intelligence gleaned by a cursory glance through wikipedia. It has hardly any idea what the internet is or how it works, let alone the common sense regarding Wi-Fi connections and security. Proof behind this is that only after Clara references Twitter does the Doctor acknowledge she has some kind of enhanced technical intelligence.

Award-winning author Steven Moffat has this amazingly flawed view of Doctor Who in that it is all about the companion and not the Doctor. He also views Doctor Who as a fairy tale. Neither of these things is problematic in itself. I quite like series five which was Moffat’s first year as producer and head writer and was almost entirely as companion-centric and fantasy-based. However, this story has lots of problems, especially given that Amy Pond was arguably the hub of the past three years and once she is gone she is replaced by Clara, the mystery girl who the Doctor is chasing through space and time.

Last year, the Doctor met a strange girl named Oswin who was trapped inside of a Dalek. In that adventure she died. The Christmas Special saw her return as a governess in Victorian London, where she also died. In the series seven point two mini-episode, we saw the Doctor meet with young Clara Oswald at a playground. At the opening of The Bells of Saint John, the Doctor is camped out in a monastery waiting for ‘The Bells of Saint John’ to ring. The bells are actually attached to the phone in the outer shell of the TARDIS, and the ringing is caused by Clara calling for tech support in the 21st Century where she is wondering ‘where the internet has gone.’ The fact that Clara is unable to connect to the net is seen as the entire web disappearing is rather suspect. Even my mom would not jump to that conclusion. I venture to say that each of us has had this kind of problem at some point and did not think that somehow the web had gone away. In any case, this is all connected to a weird alien Wi-Fi signal being used to suck people into the web and drain their minds.

Yes… the evil weird threat is Wi-Fi.

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Users are somehow downloaded into a server (with a cute progress bar showing the process) where they become vloggers warning people to stay offline and scream to be let go. How a webcam can be used to not only scan but download your consciousness is beyond me, but why would the result be a tiny TV screen of the poor victim screaming to be let go? Who wants that? The evil corporation who is behind all this mutely works away in a room dominated by a wall of screaming faces… every day. From the revelation at the end of the episode, this has somehow been going on for decades.

Just imagine what that job is like?

It must be Hell finding people to work at EvilCo (or Shard, but I think EvilCo is better), since the average employee is an imbecile and HR doesn’t monitor their web usage. The absolute raving idiocy that members of a super secret organization would not only use social networking sites but also note said employer and are online while working on their is almost laughable.

The intelligence of all these people is being siphoned by some unknown source… much like another classic story The Krotons in which the aliens sapped the minds of the brightest and converted it into raw energy. In this case, Shard has been at this for quite some time (begging the question why did the Doctor take so long to stop them) and yet it is unclear what the aim is. The plot is incomplete, much like The Idiot’s Lantern in which the Wire is sucking people through televisions but never explains why.

The Doctor and Clara team up using a laptop to take down the evil organization while the Doctor muses over who and what Clara is and why he keeps bumping into her. Wi-Fi is depicted as being so powerful that it can shut down whole city blocks and almost crash a jet into the suburbs… or take control of a cafe to show the Doctor how powerful they *really* are. That is impressive.

All of this is somehow tied into ‘The Great Intelligence’ from The Snowmen Christmas Special which is interesting, but shouldn’t we be seeing Sir Ian McKellen and not Richard E. Grant as REG was the human host and Sir Ian is the real baddie? And is this the same  ’The Great Intelligence’ from Classic Doctor Who? I’m starting to wonder.

The Doctor not only hacks the Shard’s technology but also uses an anti-gravity motorcycle to drive up the side of the corporate office to confront them.

There is a saying in TV, ‘jump the shark’ to mark when a program has achieved such a status of badness that it is beyond any other words. The Doctor jumped a building. If one can say that he jumped the shark as well, I don’t know… but this was pretty embarrassing both conceptually and visually. The effect was so poor, I can only imagine what it looked like on hi def.

The Doctor does his usual grand-standing to the baddie, but seems to have no real interest in the safety of anyone but his companion. This is very similar to The Idiot’s Lantern when the Doctor confronted the Wire for Rose’s freedom. When the Great Intelligence finally releases its hold and retreats, it is implied that the bodies of those previously trapped in the system may well be dead. When the Great Intelligence’s latest mouthpiece, Miss Kislet, is released, she tragically becomes an innocent little lost girl trapped in the body of a sixty year old woman… isn’t that nice?

The Doctor could care less about any of the damages, though, and is eager to fly off with his latest in a line of feisty females in what Clara calls his ‘snog box.’ Possibly the dumbest story to date, this is the ‘Idiot’s Lantern for Idiots.’

I will once again point out that Matt Smith is in fine fighting form and managed to take some of the worst dialog ever written and make it sound at least palatable. I’m still on the fence regarding the new companion played by Jenna-Louise Coleman. She seems to get by on being cute as a button… but that will get very old very quickly. The camera work was unusually superb with some lovely cinematography with the motorcycle ride into London a stand out moment.

But, largely this story was far too concerned with the companion and presented a juvenile and silly view of reality that could only be called ‘fantasy’ to save it from being called out as laughably poor. This is the same program that produced stories as otherworldly as Kinda and as dramatically impressive as Talons of Weng Chiang with ludicrously limited resources.  Even so, this was once a TV show screened late at night on PBS stations, a show whose name prompted laughter and ridicule.

To return to where I started, this is an incredibly successful program at arguably the peak of its popularity. It should be better than this.

Wi-Fi? Seriously?

The Bells of Saint John had an Appreciation Index, or AI score, of 87

The Appreciation Index or AI is a measure of how much the audience enjoyed the programme. The score, out of a hundred, is compiled by a specially selected panel of around 5,000 people who go online and rate and comment on programmes.

Doctor Who scored higher than most of Saturday’s output. Other high scoring programmes were Casulty with 87, Richard Briers: A Tribute with 88 and Easter From Kings with 89.

Overnight ratings from Doctor WhoTV:

• The Bells of Saint John – 6.18 million (overnight) TBC (final figure)
• The Snowmen – 7.6 million (overnight) 9.87 million (final figure)
• The Angels Take Manhattan - 5.9 million (overnight) 7.82 million (final figure)
• The Power of Three – 5.5 million (overnight) 7.67 million (final figure)
• A Town Called Mercy – 6.6 million (overnight) 8.42 million (final figure)
• Dinosaurs on a Spaceship -  5.5 million (overnight) 7.57 million (final figure)
• Asylum of the Daleks – 6.4 million (overnight) 8.3 million (final figure)

Next time: The Rings of Akhaten

Doctor Who and The Bells of Saint John: A Prequel

You may have already seen this, but in the event that it passed you by, here is the prequel for next week’s new episode The Bells of Saint John.

The Doctor takes a break on Earth, despondent that he can’t find Clara.

So the Doctor is mooning over someone he barely knows yet has some deeper meaning because he keeps bumping into her… so he spends some time at a public park on a swing (like any self-respecting guy would) and has a random conversation with a little girl who… wait for it… IS THE PERSON HE’S LOOKING FOR! A doughnut has more of a twist than that, Mr. ‘Hugo Award Recipient’ Moffat.

I hate to review something as silly as a prequel but… this was just rubbish and also perfectly captures my opinions of New Who in general. It relies on cute kids, it’s self-referential, it has nothing to do with the Doctor and everything to do with the companion and/or the writer’s ‘clever idea’ that is actually not clever at all.

And Matt Smith is fab. I mean he really is.

The first genuine eccentric in the part in decades, he exudes charm and drips with personality, so much so that he can make a dippy little scene like this that adds nothing to the series aside from ‘oooooooh, there’s more to the Souffle girl than we thought!’ nonsense that he has already done twice before. If I have anything nice to say at all, it is to once more shout my praise for Smith to the hills.

I am not looking forward to the second half of the new series as we have finally lost two plot threads (The Ponds) that took over the program for two and a half years only to get a new one with Clara Oswin Oswald.

What precisely is the problem with just writing a solid adventure that stands on its own, uses the Doctor well and is not built on the back of a gimmick (we’ve already been told that this one is meant to make viewers scared of WiFi… adding it to the list of things to be afraid of; statues, the dark, shadows, meet-up groups, cupboards, running water, getting fat, school dinners and marriage)?

Does anyone have anything positive to add? I’d really like to be in good spirits for this series but as it stands I think we are in for more of the Mary Sue phenomenon that we have endured since 2005.

Bleach…. I hate sounding like such a grouch.

First look at Doctor Who series 7 Part Two

A few promotional images for the first half of the second part of series 7 have arrived. There are a few details, but nothing Earth-shattering, so feel free to read on and not fear spoilers.

Introducing the new monsters ‘The Spoonheads,’ Steven Moffat describes this episode as “the traditional Doctor Who thing of taking something omnipresent in your life and making it sinister, if something did get in the Wi-Fi, we’d be kind of screwed. Nobody had really done it before, so I thought, ‘It’s time to get kids frightened of Wi-Fi!”

“The Bells of Saint John”: The Doctor’s search for Clara Oswald brings him to modern day London, where Wi-Fi is everywhere. Humanity lives in a Wi-Fi soup. But something dangerous is lurking in the signals, picking off minds and imprisoning them. As Clara becomes the target of this insidious menace, the Doctor races to save her and the world from an ancient enemy.

Written by Mark Gatiss, this story will be set in a submarine and feature a new take on another classic monster, the Ice Warriors, joining the Daleks, Cybermen, Sontarans and Macra in the list of of classic baddies re-imagined for a new audience.

“Cold War”: The Doctor and Clara land on a damaged Russian Submarine in 1983 as it spirals out of control into the ocean depths. An alien creature is loose on board, having escaped from a block of Arctic ice. With tempers flaring and a cargo of nuclear weapons on board, it’s not just the crew but the whole of humanity at stake!

Written by Luther’s Neil Cross.

“The Rings of Akhaten”: Clara wants to see something awesome, so the Doctor whisks her off to the inhabited rings of the planet Akhaten, where the Festival of Offerings is in full swing. Clara meets the young Queen of Years as the pilgrims and natives ready for the ceremony. But something is stirring in the pyramid, and a sacrifice will be demanded.

Set in a haunted house and again written by Neil Cross.

“Hide”: Clara and the Doctor arrive at Caliburn House, a haunted mansion sat alone on a desolate moor. Within its walls, a ghost hunting Professor and a gifted psychic are searching for the Witch of the Well. Her apparition appears throughout the history of the building, but is she really a ghost? And what is chasing her?

Series 7.2 trailer for BBC America

Still to come: “Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS,” which is what it says it is and written by Curse of the Black Spot’s author, Mat King, “The Crimson Horror,” by Mark Gatiss which will reunite the Doctor with Madame Vastra, Jenny and Strax, “The Last Cyberman” by Neil Gaiman and the untitled finale by Steven Moffat.

Series 7 part two starts on BBC America March 30th

Doctor Who and The Snowmen

The Snowmen

Written by Steven Moffat
Story 7.06
Transmitted 25 December, 2012
“I never know how, I only know who.”’
The Doctor is sulking in Victorian London with the former Sontaran soldier/nurse turned butler Strax, the Silurian warrior Lady Vastra and her wife (shock) Jenny. Depressed by the loss of Amy and Rory, the Doctor has sworn off adventuring for fear of endangering others. Despite his attempts to remain on the sidelines, he is called out of his reverie by Clara, the feisty barmaid/governess/mystery girl with a quirky grin. Snow is the culprit this time around and it could kill all of humanity by Christmas night. Guest-starring Richard E Grant as the evil Dr Simian, a distorted and angry young boy grown into a dangerous old man and Sir Ian McKellen as the voice of the Great Intelligence (though surely not the one from the Yeti adventures Abominable Snowmen and Web of Fear), The Snowmen is a wintry period piece of whimsy and fanciful fun for all… or is it?

There are some very well tread notions that are used in this story that are downright shameful given the level of popularity Doctor Who is enjoying and the fact that it is in its seventh year on TV and about to celebrate the program’s 50th anniversary. We really should be beyond many of the cliches that Moffat leans heavily on here and while The Snowmen does hint at a payoff later on, this particular tale is a vapid one.

The story opens with Dr Simian collecting snow using manual labor. Once again the working class or disenfranchised are depicted as helpless victims (see Age of Steel, Daleks Take Manhattan, The Next Doctor, etc), as Simian ‘feeds’ his staff to monstrous Snowmen. He’s so evil that he has no need of a plan at all, aside from collecting bits snow for a giant snow globe and talking to an evil disembodied voice about how well everything is going.

Dr Simian should really meet the Master (the proper Delgado one) for lessons in hatching evil schemes.

The new companion is introduced as a barmaid (previous companions for the new series have included a shop girl, office temp and kiss-o-gram. Only Martha Jones -remember her?- stands out as an exception being a promising medical student). The BBC Wales series seems obsessed with the working class as the heroes/victims and the gentry being the villains, all but omitting the middle class with Amy and Rory possibly being the only exception. In meeting Clara, the Doctor attempts some silly scientific investigation before wandering off into the night. Into the second half of his third year now, Smith has matured quite well and wears the mantle of lonely wanderer like it was made for him. He doesn’t over-sell it, an impish smile hints at some real joyful memories of his marvelous adventures, sadly in the distant past.

I keep saying this but the worse the story the more apparent it is to me how flipping perfect Smith is as the Doctor. He is a genuine childlike eccentric and he embodies the part with so much exuberance not seen since the late Patrick Troughton (his self-professed influence in the role of the Doctor).

Unfortunately, Moffat has yet to learn the skill of subtlety and places the Doctor and his TARDIS literally on a cloud overlooking the city… yes, he is actually refusing to look down at the world and is above it. I’d like to remind you that this guy won awards for writing.

Apparently the phrase ‘Doctor Who?’ was not a one-off fascination of Moffat’s as it is now referred to as ‘what starts adventure’ and a kind of secret phrase to get into his Victorian inner circle. We are also once more saddled with other characters telling us about who and what the Doctor is while he does mostly nothing. What’s more, he is called a savior and protector of the world. Additionally, call backs to the previous companion is used as a motive, much the same as Rose haunted two solid years of Doctor Who.

Because Moffat is writing this series for his son, he feels the need to include LOTS of children. In case the cliche is lost, Clara plays headmistress (not that kind, Hal) to the children of Captain Latimer and entertains the kids Julie Andrews-style with whimsical tales to distract them from their sexually frustrated widower father. She presents the Doctor as a fanciful magical uncle-type, or Mary Poppins in trousers. What’s peculiar (as SJV has pointed out), is that the Doctor has stated that he has to stop being such an icon to the universe and ‘go silent.’ Despite that, children are told that he will save them and is a special kind of person who fights off horrors (once again, let me point out that even though Clara tells the children this he has not only done no such thing but he has defiantly refused to get involved in anyone’s business).

The naughty headmistress who had become encased in ice is brought back via psychically sensitive snow… or ice… and transformed into an angry and embarrassing computer effect. In what could be the weirdest self aware moment of the entire new series, the Doctor appears as a Punch doll bearing his trusty sonic screwdriver which shatters the monster to pieces (though remember, it is NOT A WEAPON).

As if the comic characters of Lady Vastra, Jenny and Strax were not absurd enough, their arrival at Captain Latimer’s house causes the maid to scream then faint like an am dram drop out. It’s all very sad. Captain Latimer may as well have spouted, ‘This is most peculiar!’ and I’m kinda disappointed that he didn’t.

Assaulted from without by Dr Simian and his deadly snow maker (?) and from within by an ice woman who can’t get down a flight of stairs, things become far more familiar for long time viewers. The program is notorious for ‘base under siege’ plots in which the heroes are holed up trying to think of a way out while the enemy closes in. It’s also a handy way to chew up run time and fill in the odd plot ole such as what the ell is going on. For all of its many faults, the inability to actually tell a story while introducing characters and setting is the most damning. Doctor Who was once the most innovative TV series, today it cannot chew gum and skip at the same time.

Dr Simian is working for an alien intelligence (presumably not the other Great Intelligence from the similarly entitled classic story Abominable Snowmen featuring the fan favorite monster the Yeti) who are attempting to gain corporeal form through snow, ice and a fusion with the human body. Why not grass, brick, muffins or pantaloons? All of these things are in large supply in Victorian London during Christmas time.

In fact, I demand next year we see pantaloon monsters.

One massive tragedy is that Richard E Grant is absolutely wasted in this. I’m not saying that he is the most amazing actor ever, but I do enjoy a bit of Withnail and I. Finally making an appearance in the new Doctor Who, he not only has not much to do at all, but puts in some superb evil guy performances while Smith minces about like a loon. Sure, REG played the Doctor in the animated special that dare not be spoken of… but that’s different.

Thinking (?) quickly, the Doctor and Clara direct the ice governess away from the snow which can apparently not fly up and over the roof like snow could but must dutifully wait to be invited in. Using the magic staircase into the clouds, Clara bosses the Doctor into action (haven’t we done this three companions in a row now?) and we finally see the new console room. After all of the pretext over the redesign, it looks like a frigging carousel. I was on the fence about the static design but now that I see that the ceiling twirls about, all that is missing are ponies to ride on. It is nice for the TARDIS to have dials and switches again rather than cranks or rubber balls, but is still the most far out and goofy console room ever.

Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor seems to say that he is beginning an adventuring relationship with Clara and through Moffat’s eyes that may be the only reason the Doctor ever does anything. It’s peculiar and takes the notion of the Doctor being a romantic character to a whole other level of inappropriateness. It also flies in the face of what Doctor Who was before RTD and Moffat got their hands on it… an adventure program. It has become a romance in which the Doctor is moved to action by a pretty girl. What is up with that?

And of course it is at this moment when Clara is attacked by the ice governess and pulled to her death. The action comes to a complete stop while the Doctor feels guilty over her possible death. Even Lady Vastra remarks that the snow and ice are still problems, but again they dutifully wait.

The Doctor confronts what is definitely not the Great Intelligence from Abominable Snowmen offering up a shard of the ice governess in a box bearing the map of the London Underground circa 1967 (when the Abominable Snowmen was screened) and Richard E Grant is subsumed by camp villain acting that will haunt him to the grave. On her death bed (her damned insides must have been crushed from the fall) Clara tries to reconcile Latimer’s lack of intimacy for his children (who all serve no purpose in the story) then turns the snow to rain by crying… um… of course.

Clara dies somehow and the Doctor realizes that Dr Simian’s business card is for the Great Intelligence and that it may have melted into the ground but could have maintained knowledge of the London Underground (which was invaded by the Yeti in 1968′s Web of Fear)… but it is surely not the Great Intelligence from Abominable Snowmen.

The Doctor also realizes that Clara was somehow on the Asylum for Wayward Daleks where she also died… and the multi-part mystery in which the companion takes importance over the Doctor begins anew.

Peter McKinstry’s new Yeti design

As each year of Doctor Who traditionally focuses on the return of a classic monster or villain (The Daleks, Cybermen, Master, Davros, Sontarans, Silurians and more have all come back as the main focus of each series), it could be that this is all leading to a showdown with the Yeti which could mean that Sir Ian McKellen may return which is nice as well. Designs of the Yeti have been circulated for ages so it does add up. However, the program has thrown curve balls before such as bringing voice actor Gabriel Woolf back for the Impossible Planet which led many fans to rightly interpret that Sutekh (from the very popular Pyramids of Mars) was on his way back.

Most finales involve River Song, marriages, heartbroken lovers or other such things, so I doubt that I am right in thinking that the Yeti are on their way… but dammit that would make sense. Instead we are going to be treated to the ‘mystery of Clara Oswald Oswin’ through the second half of series 7.  Ah well… the teaser looks pretty.

Next time…

 

Special note: I will be on vacation for the first time ever for the next four-five days. Don’t panic, I will be back and make sure to check in on my tumblr feed for updates as I find them. Happy Holidays and Merry X-Men!

Introducing the new TARDIS console room for Doctor Who series 7.2

(This comes via DoctorWhoOnline.com)

The new redesigned TARDIS console room is finally here. To be introduced in next week’s Christmas Special, the new design will replace current one introduced along with Matt Smith in the 5th series. Previously, redesigning the console room during the Doctor’s reign has been a big deal and has only been done a handful of times over the 50 year history, most famously during the Tom Baker and Peter Davison eras.

What do you think of the new ‘desktop theme’ (ugh, I hate that term)? Personally I think it’s too busy, but at least it is closer to the classic model and a step away from the zany/wacky design which included a rubber mallet, typewriter and rubber ball which made it look like a 5 year old put it together in a shed (not that I’d know).

(On a side-note, I really like the Doctor’s new costume)

Which console room design do you prefer?

The first design as seen in An Unearthly Child

The Troughton/Pertwee design as seen in The Three Doctors

The secondary console room as seen in The Deadly Assassin

The Baker/Davison design

The 1983-89 design as seen in The Five Doctors

The 1996 design as seen in the TV Movie starring Paul McGann

The 2005-2010 design from the Eccleston/Tennant era

The current design introduced in 2010

Doctor Who – The Great Detective minisode

In the streets of Victorian London, a Silurian detective and her sword-wielding companion Jenny solve unusual crimes along with their butler, a Sontaran named Strax. When faced with a particularly dangerous case, they petition for the assistance of that traveler of time and space known only as ‘The Doctor,’ but there’s a problem… he’s retired.

Watch the minisode below…

My 2 cents

The less said about Murray Gold’s music, the better.

I could do without the poor directing and thudding jokes, but I do quite like how the series keeps reinventing itself and staying fresh. At seven years, the program has had many different approaches with varied results and the 11th Doctor works best, in my opinion, when he is pitched as a fanciful hero in a children’s adventure (as most of series 5 was written). It seems that we may be headed back in that direction this Christmas and into next year when Doctor Who returns.

2013 trailer

Doctor Who Christmas Special minisode this Friday

Get an early look at the Doctor this Friday, November 16th during the Children in Need charity event.

Doctor Who, featuring Matt Smith, will bring viewers an extra special ‘prequel’ to its Christmas special, with a story line made for Children in Need, and an exclusive preview trailer of the Christmas special including the first glimpse of the Doctor with his new companion.

On-location filming

… and no, it will not be screened in the US, so American fans will have to find ‘alternate methods.’

Neil Gaiman returns to Doctor Who with the Cybermen in 2013

Looks like cult author Neil Gaiman will be coming back to Doctor Who next year for the second part of the seventh series along with the evil cyborgs the Cybermen. I’m a big fan of the Cybermen and have long thought that they are among the creepier of the classic monsters. Sadly they did not age well outside of the 1960′s and while I do enjoy both Revenge of the Cybermen and Earthshock, they never really came close to recapturing their horror found in those black and white adventures.

In their 60′s appearances, the Cybermen were slow-moving zombie-like creatures who lurked in the corners of space stations, lurched through the snow-swept terrain of the arctic and even wandered through the sewers of London roaring like mad mummies. An attempt from the production team to top the Daleks, the Cybermen have long played second favorite to the dreaded pepper pots, but given that Terry Nation and Ray Cusick’s creatures are regarded as the most popular Who monster ever, that ain’t half bad, is it?

The latest version of the Cybermen from a parallel reality are decidedly un-scary, river-dancing their way into living rooms with a battle cry borne from an office keyboard. Despite a strong introduction in 2006, they have yet to make any real impact in the BBC Wales Doctor Who, though the headless Cyberman in The Big Bang was impressive. Can Gaiman succeed where so many others have failed? We’ll have to wait and see.

Entitled ‘The Last Cyberman,’ the misplaced read-through script has been the subject of a minor scandal, but in truth not many details have leaked from the event other than the title and confirmation of the new companion’s name (Clara).

Cybermen ’67

Via LATimes:

The Doctor will once again face off against some of his oldest enemies. The Cybermen are returning to “Doctor Who” in 2013 in an episode written by fantasy author Neil Gaiman, BBC announced Wednesday.

Gaiman’s episode will be directed by Stephen Woolfenden, who served as assistant director for four of the eight “Harry Potter” films. The episode will take the Doctor (Matt Smith) and his new companion (Jenna-Louise Coleman) to another planet, where they meet a band of misfits portrayed by Warwick Davis (“Life’s too Short,” “Harry Potter” and “Willow”), Tamzin Outhwaite (“Hotel Babylon”) and Jason Watkins (“Being Human”).

The Cybermen have been around for nearly as long as the show itself, debuting in 1966′s “The Tenth Planet” opposite the first Doctor, played by William Hartnell in his last episode before regenerating. In the series, Cybermen are people whose bodies have been replaced with artificial parts and whose emotions have been deleted, leaving a race of cold, calculating and deadly cyborgs.

“Cybermen were always the monsters that scared me the most,” the show’s lead writer Steven Moffat said in the announcement. “Not just because they were an awesome military force, but because sometimes they could be sleek and silver and right behind you without you even knowing.”

The 2013 Cybermen episode marks the second venture into “Doctor Who” for Gaiman, whose previous episode — 2011′s “The Doctor’s Wife” — won a Hugo Award and a Ray Bradbury Award.

“I saw my first Cybermen watching Moonbase, as Jamie thought the Piper was coming for him (scary). Then Tomb of the Cybermen terrified me,” Gaiman tweeted, referring to two 1967 episodes starring Patrick Troughton as the Doctor.

And here’s an picture of the redesigned Cybermen (from here where more excellent images can be found)