Rifftrax: Christopher Walken in ‘McBain’

Still riding a high from seeing Best of Rifftrax Live! Manos: The Hands of Fate. Next week I am taking in Plan 9 From Outer Space for all it is worth. Christopher Walken may be the cult actor of the millennium today, but before he appeared in Pulp Fiction he was just another amazing actor who appeared in questionable films… like this (what am I saying? He is still the class A actor of Deer Hunter who performs in flicks like Seven Psychopaths). I love him, but I have to shake my head at 90% of the movies he turns up in.

McBain is 100% 80’s angry action movie complete with villains who fly through the air when they are shot like murder is some kind of fun fest for clowns. It’s all very weird.

McBain_Block

Click to order the riff!

WARNING! Contains naughty language and Christopher Walken impressions!
Let’s get this out of the way: Yes, this movie is called McBain. No, it has nothing to do with what you’re thinking: it’s not a biopic of Diane McBain, star of the 1960 TV series Surfside 6. Oh, or that Simpsons character either.

No, there’s no Mendoza for McBain to take out in this one. That’s just in the silly movie series The Simpsons came up with. Probably only took them a couple minutes too. Mendoza…Ha! This McBain is much more legitimate and creative. Its drug dealer is named Escobar.

Christopher Walken (MousehuntJoe DirtThe Country BearsGigliKangaroo Jack) stars as the titular McBain. When the man who rescued him from a POW camp is executed by a Colombian dictator, it’s time for McBain to put together a ragtag group to avenge their friend. He rounds up a smooth talking technology expert, a black guy who is afraid of flying, and a guy who repeatedly asks him if it’s really a good idea to rip off The A-Team so blatantly.

Finally, they’re ready to take out the dictator and what follows is possibly the most incoherent mess of an action film there ever was. The body count soars, plot threads are introduced and discarded at a moment’s notice and a WrestleMania hat is given prominent screentime. Evidently, nobody ever told the producers of McBain that 80s action flicks were out of style, or that it’s not very badass to make your supposed action hero a welder (McBain is a professional welder, we forgot to mention that until now. Also, his first name is Bobby. Both of these things are true.)

McBain is the movie that will have you saying, “Seriously? Christopher Walken did this only three years before Pulp Fiction?” Join Mike, Kevin, Bill and Rainier Wolfcastle for McBain: Let’s Get Silly.

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